horrorbutch's reviews
1224 reviews

 Disclaimer: I received an ARC from the author. Thank you so much! 

This is an incredibly brutal story about a young woman’s rise to fame, beginning in Bulgaria and ending at the 31st Artisan Fair New York as the four members of the girl band Moxxy have finally had enough of their abusive Managers and the way the industry exploits young talents and spits them out broken and rebel against their contracts in an explosive fashion. 

Katya is an incredibly interesting character, from her childhood fascination with fame and her desperation to become famous and the creeping dread as the stress and lack of privacy and constant crossing of boundaries take their toll. The girls literally live in a glass house where fans can stand outside and take pictures or pay to listen to the recordings of their conversations. She is also queer, unable to come out or even explore her feelings because her every moment outside of her room is scripted or observed. When it all comes to a head for her and the fear of retribution loses to the sheer terror of the abuse she and her bandmates faced, you can’t help but feel terrified for them, angry on their behalf and also grieve for how much time and relationships they missed out on. 

While this story is set in America and exaggerated the way celebrities are treated to a (slightly) more dystopian level, I do think that the comparison to K-Pop bands was important to draw, especially with the incredible control of a person’s public image and the heavy control of interpersonal relationships that happens already under these circumstances (I don’t necessarily believe that the control that happens to American or European celebrities is much different, it just happens a bit more covert). 

I also really like the last chapter, it is a very satisfying end and I really, really felt a lot of emotions at that point, for the characters and the story. 

All in all, this was a really great read, that I really enjoyed a lot. I love the cover, it is pretty and fits the theme perfectly and if you enjoy stories that dive deep into a character’s psyche, feel a bit like a car crash (you know something bad is coming, but you cannot look away) and feature really interesting female characters, please do check this one out. It is really good. 

 Dieses Buch folgt der Protagonistin von ihrer früheren Identität als eine schwule nichtbinäre Person zu einer bisexuellen trans Frau und lässt uns ihrem Pfad folgen als sie sich immer wieder in Erinnerungen und Ängsten verliert.
Das Buch ist sehr langsam, sehr lyrisch, sehr poetisch und die Protagonistin Rachel ist auf gar keinen Fall immer bewundernswert oder perfekt (teilweise ist sie furchbar, vorallem ihren Freund*innen gegenüber!), aber sie hat es geschafft mein Interesse das ganze Buch über bei sich zu halten, was nicht immer leicht war, da es wie gesagt, sehr langsam geschrieben ist.
Die Geschichte verliert sich (wie die Protagonistin) immer wieder in der Zeit, wandert durch Kindheitserinnungen, wird aber immer wieder von der schmerzhaften Realität eingeholt und in die Gegenwart zurückgerissen. Durch ihre ständige Dissoziation entfernt sie sich immer weiter von ihren Freund*innen, die nicht an sie herankommen, und ist aber auch extremst verletzt, wenn diese ihre Gedanken nicht erahnen können und sie retten. Ich fand, dass hierbei ein gewisser Personentypus, der sehr mit sich selbst beschäftigt ist zu Beginn der Transition, sehr gut dargestellt wurde. Auch spielt ihre Familie eine sehr große Rolle in der Geschichte, was ich spannend fand, da sie mit diesen wenig Kontakt hat.
Neben der Transition der Protagonistin und ihren Beziehungen zu anderen passiert eigentlich nicht sonderlich viel in dieser Geschichte (außer ein Thema, das es am Ende schließlich schafft durch ihre Abkapselung zu brechen, aber zu diesem Zeitpunkt ist sie einfach zu weit davon entfernt um etwas daran zu ändern, was ich unglaublich schmerzhaft fand zu lesen, aber als Punkt in der Geschichte sehr spannend fand). Trotzdem dieser wenigen Plotpunkten und der langsamen Entwicklung der Geschichte fand ich es nie langweilig, zu lyrisch und detailgenau und graphisch war die Darstellung von Emotionen und Erinnerungen und dem daraus enstehenden inneren Wirbel der Protagonistin. 
Mir persönlich hat dieses Buch sehr gut gefallen. Ich würde es niemanden empfehlen der gerne schnelle oder aktionreiche Geschichten liest, auch muss man sich auf die eigene Art der Protagonistin einlassen und ihre selbstbezogene Art und Weise aushalten können, aber wenn euch eine langsame, schöne, traurige und manchmal kopfschütteln-lassende Geschichte einer Transition interessiert und eine sehr interessante Charakter-Studie, dann kann ich dieses Buch empfehlen.

Rather short, but quite fun little bug horror story about a hunter that gets lured deep into the forest and encounters something he is not prepared to face. The writing was able to create great suspense and I enjoyed the monster design. I found the world building intruiging and think I will check out more of this setting. 

Disclaimer: I received an advance review copy for free through booksirens, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

I knew I needed to pick this up when I saw the title (+ queer horror, hello!) and wow! I’m really glad I did! This collection features a gay main character in nearly every story (except in Changeling, where the story is told from the perspective of a homophobic mother), but the horror varies. From the real-life horror of homophobia over cosmic horror that just so happens to target a gay MC to retellings of other horror stories and fairy tales through a gay lens, there’s a lot in here to enjoy (if that’s the right word, considering the lots of pain and suffering featured in these stories). But if you, like me, like your horror sad and dark and always wanted some sad and dark horror for us queer folks, then this anthology is for you as much as it was for me.
The writing is often filled with symbolism and veers on the poetic, which worked really well for these short stories. Often the stories are filled with grief and queer pain, but underneath that representation of the real-world oppression queer people face, there is also the joy of community and love presented.
All in all, this was an amazing short story collection, where I adored 8 of 13 pieces and really enjoyed the other pieces as well. I am very glad that I found this author in the short story collection “The Book of Queer Saints” and that I was able to read an ARC of his short story collection. He absolutely has a great talent for short stories, because even the stories I personally did not enjoy as much are just cases of my own personal preference in horror. They were written with a length that was perfect to me, never so long I grew bored, but neither too short to immerse myself in the story and I will be looking out for this author from now on!

*FAV* Morta: This is a short story that I’ve read and enjoyed before (in the “The Book of Queer Saints” anthology) and rereading it in this collection was really great. We follow a young man, whose mother brought him to the American suburbs to allow him to grow to adulthood and be protected from forces that want to kill him. A really interesting take on a “chosen one” trope, with lovely gore and a really sweet (but heartbreaking) romance.
TW: murder, racism, xenophobia
*FAV* Husk: A hate crime by a fellow student and parental rejection leave a young gay man split into two parts. The angry, rejected part of him now seeks revenge, haunting the ones who hurt him. Heartbreaking and haunting and really scary, I loved this story a lot.
TW: domestic abuse, hate crime, homophobic slurs, murder, parental abuse, self-harm, violence
*FAV* Changeling: A desperate mother and father trade their son through a Faerie ritual, wanting a not-gay son instead, but find they have invited something much worse to their small town. I love it when conservative homophobes get their just deserts, it’s beautiful. Really interesting lore as well, I liked this a lot.
TW: animal death, death, drugging, homophobia
Frankenstein Uncut: A Frankenstein retelling featuring a heartbroken rejected scientist as he labors to rebuild the man he can’t have in his own creation. Fun to read, I enjoyed it.
TW: gore, murder, necrophilia (ish)
In Hades, He Lifted Up His Eyes: A tale of graverobbers turned murderers to sustain their business and the young man craving revenge against the murderer of his friend. Haunting and heartbreaking and I really like the gothic writing style.
TW: murder, slight necrophilia (dancing with a corpse)
Of Gentle Wolves: A red riding hood retelling following the woodcutter as he hunts the wolf and finds himself tempted. Fun! Loved the descriptions of gore.
TW: gore, murder
*FAV* Idolo: A man accompanies his fiancé to his small hometown in the mountains after he got the news that his mother is dying. When his husband-to-be confronts him about his cheating things go from unsettling small village to actual cult horror real quick. Very fun and well written, messy and messed up in the best way.
TW: cheating, gore, murder
*FAV* Sulta: A photographer has taken an amazing picture of a long-forgotten Nordic shrine of a Goddess of Hunger. But there is a price. Really interesting story, really good mythology, really haunting from start to finish, I loved it!
TW: death
*FAV* Queer Norm: A golem created by a gay man desperate for protection from threats wanders the city at night, wanting to fulfill its purpose now that its maker has been murdered, but kept from revenge by its magical bond. Heartbreaking and haunting.
TW: harassment, hatecrime, murder
*FAV* The Facts Concerning the First Annual Arkham Parade: A tax collector is asked to investigate the disappearance of his roommate from college, who has disappeared after hosting the first Arkham Pride Parade. But it’s only when he finds her that things really start being weird. Lovely cosmic horror piece and I loved seeing a trans character in here!
TW: misgendering (accidental + purposeful), murder
*FAV* Vivisepulture: A man grieving the death of his husband still after three years finds himself trying his luck in the gay club scene, when a ghost chats him up. Filled with grief and sadness and also kinda heartwarming in a weird way, I really enjoyed this one.
TW: death, gore, grief, murder, necrophilia
The Cicatrix: A magician summons a demon, hoping to find a way to revive his health. He dwells in past memories of former lovers and searches for magical artifacts in Egypt, magician rivalries and revenge. This is one of the longer stories and unfortunately since I don’t really care about deals with demons most of the time one of the less interesting ones for me personally, but if you enjoy stories about demon deals you might like this one a lot more than I did, because it was written well.
TW: addiction, cancer, death, grief, sexual abuse (implied)
End Times in Paris: A story about the Rapture and the people left behind. A man falls for the angel Uriel, positioned here to watch over the End Times. Interesting and filled with grief, which I enjoyed.
TW: death

Disclaimer: I received an e-book ARC in exchange for my review by Tenebrous Press.

This story explores a pregnant woman’s life in a near-future world as she faces the decision to either enroll in a near-precedented medical trial once her daughter is born (there have been two or three previous attempts) or give up the therapeutical neurological implant she has been using to deal with her depression and anxiety as she’s not allowed to keep it as a single mother.
We learn some things about this new world, which both seem better at points (there’s a basic universal income), but also worse (people only live in cities, as the landscape outside was destroyed and turned toxic). People can earn money through watching advertisements and others again are looking for a quick adrenaline boost racing through the streets, lost in the world their neural implants portray for them. There is a very clear class divide as well, with the rich living underground in crystal caves, where the air is non-polluted, while the poor cannot leave their houses without wearing masks. But mostly this story focusses on Valya, the main character, as she realizes that her use of the Casual had helped her repress her past and what this will mean for her and her daughter’s future.
Since we spend so much time with Valya, my favorite parts where her interior life and the relationships she forms with others. I found her to be an incredibly compelling character and loved following her journey, uncovering her past alongside her. If you like detailed character studies, then this is certainly a book I can advise you to check out. I also really liked all the other details added to the worldbuilding, which I felt made this story feel very real.
All in all, this is a great story exploring autonomy, motherhood and mental health and one of the best explorations of repressed trauma I’ve read in a while. I really, really enjoyed it.

TW: abusive relationship, addiction, anxiety, csa, depression, experimental technology, medical procedures, panic attacks, pregnancy, ptsd, rape, repressed trauma, self-harm