WARNING: This is a SUPER long review; it's kind of a very long account of what my thoughts were during the entire book.
"We are not grand because we are at the top of the food chain or because we can alter our environment - the environment will outlast us with its unfathomable forces and unyielding powers. But rather than be bound and defeated by our insignificance, we are bold because we exercise our will anyway, despite the ephemeral and delicate presence we have in this desert, on this planet, in this universe."
When I first open this book I took notice of the prologue, a short story about Blue John, its informative and interesting enough to keep my mind alive and then Aron's story begins. It's surprisingly well written for a non-writer and I am immediately immersed in his surroundings and thoughts, nothing is left out and I can almost feel what Aron is feeling. It's sensational. By the third page I've already come across a quote that I like and I immediately write it down.
“It adds up, but I deem it all necessary, even the camera gear. I enjoy photographing the otherworldly colors and shapes presented in the convoluted depths of slot canyons and the prehistoric artwork preserved in their alcoves.”
As the reading continues I find myself in an almost trance like state and then I reach the exact moment when Aron finds himself stuck with a boulder crushing his right arm, as he describes the panic and shock he went through I can feel my heart beat getting quicker "Holy shit" the voice in my head says.
"My disbelief paralyzes me temporarily as I stare at the sight of my arm vanishing into an implausibly small gap between the fallen boulder and the canyon wall. Within moments, my nervous system's pain response overcomes the initial shock. Good Christ, my hand. The flaring agony throws me into a panic, I grimace and growl a sharp "Fuck!" My mind commands my body, "Get your hand out of there!" I yank my arm three times in a naive attempt to pull it out.
But I'm stuck."
I know the end result of this accident, I know the story well but I still find myself hoping that someone will come along and find Aron and he will make it out with his arm still intact with a funny story to tell his friends but no that isn't what happened and it isn't going to happen. I settle into the book at this point, completely entranced by Aron's retelling of the horrific event.
It's not all bad though, there are some really good stories he tells about his climbing adventures before Blue John Canyon, I actually find myself laughing at some of the things he does. I remember reading a few reviews that said Aron had a "big ego" and was "talking himself up" that he was "proud of cheating death so many times" and that "karma had caught up to him in that canyon", I didn't agree with any of the comments except the karma one. Sure enough this wasn't the first time Aron was put in a life and death situation but I don't think he was ego-tistical about it, he was a climber, canyoner and skiier. Hundreds (if not thousands and millions) of people do the same thing and relish in the adrenaline rush that these life and death situations bring; Aron (to me) is just one of those people.
I kept in my mind that when he was doing stupid things (like chasing a bear and throwing rocks at it) he was about 21/22, a stupid young adult that thinks he is immortal. It happens. The bear-stalking incident, however, was described as a terrifying experience as he was being stalked by the bear, but there was one quote that made me laugh a little at Aron's panicking.
"With the darkness blinding me, I lay in my sleeping bag, fear provoking paranoia every time the faintest forest sound reached my ears (...) Splash, a fish jumped in the lake, and instantly my mind responded, "OhmyGodthebearisbackhe'sgonnaeatmeI'mgonnadie!" as I held what I was certain would be my last breath."
I continue reading and following Aron through some stupid choices and then back into the canyon where he is slowly giving up on help arriving. He contemplates cutting his arm off a few times but thinks it an act of suicide knowing he won't survive the trek back to his truck.
I read this part and bookmark it, knowing it should be included in my review:
"That boulder did what it was there to do. Boulders fall. That's their nature. It did the only natural thing it could do. It was set up, but it was waiting for you. Without you coming along and pulling it, it would still be stuck where it had been for who knows how long. You did this, Aron. You created it. You chose to come here today; you chose to do this descent into the slot canyon by yourself. You chose not to tell anyone where you were going. You chose to turn away from the women who were there to keep you from getting in this trouble. You created this accident. You wanted it to be like this. You have been heading for this situation for a long time. Look how far you came to find this spot. It's not that you're getting what you deserve - you're getting what you wanted.
My reading continues through many video testimonials and flash-backs, I'm reading about Aron going slightly insane, about him drinking his own urine (which is described in too much detail for this young lass and I gag a little) I'm hearing my own heart break hoping that this guy survives (even though I know he does)
Soon enough it's Thursday, May 1st 2003 and I brace myself because I know this is it, this is the day he cuts off his arm and I need to be ready to read it in detail. He doesn't disappoint. Let's just say if I ever have to cut my own arm off I am fairly confident that this book has taught me how. And then I read this:
A crystalline moment shatters, and the world is a different place. Where there was confinement, now there is release. Recoiling from my sudden liberation, my left arm flings downcanyon, opening my shoulders to the south, and I fall back against the northern wall of the canyon, my mind is surfing on euphoria. As I stare at the wall where not twelve hours ago I etched "RIP OCT 75 ARON APR 03," a voice shouts in my head:
I AM FREE!
I almost cheer but it's 1am and everyone is in bed so I hold it in, continue smiling stupidly and follow Arons trek. He finds people, my smile gets bigger. The helicopter comes; I almost break my face from my smile. I am in awe at this man and his courage and strength in survival. I cry when he talks to his mother and by the end of the book I have a new appreciation for life. Everything this man went through did not diminish his spirit.
The closing line was perfect:
"Saying farewell is also a bold and powerful beginning."
This book was beyond anything I can describe (but I've tried my best). I truly think everyone needs to read this, regardless of if you think you know the story or not.
If you have made it this part of the review then sigh with relief. I am finished.