DNF on page 14.

1st strike:
"Oh sweet baby J, this thing is better than an orgasm." 

2nd strike: "Stuart was supposed to be my apple fritter."

3rd strike: 
To wake up her "elderly aunt" asleep on a chair, a grown-ass woman throws a dorito corner in her mouth and makes her choke.

I dont think I stopped cringing for all 14 pages.