I really really wanted to love this book because it was suggested by Emma @Emmabooks in an eating disorder awareness novel recommendations video and I loved some of the other books on the list (Wintergirls and Paperweight)

WARNING : this book would be extremely triggering for anyone recovering from an eating disorder, depression and self harm.

There are a few good things to be said about this book ; it portrays an eating disorder (ARFID) in a very real light, it illustrates how family struggles and suffers along with the effected person.

There was a lot of grey area in this novel as well that depends on your reading tastes; the perspective seemed weird to me and I never really got into it or adjusted to it, I struggled to separate "the voice" from other characters and thoughts. I was not sure about the character developement and very little was done with setting. The relationship portrayed was iffy in my eyes as well - A few reviews have disliked it because it was "too perfect" and that is not my complaint. My issue is how dependant Pea got on her relationship and that if it had fallen apart I couldn't see her continuing with treatment or worse spiralling down. Getting back to the too perfect boyfriend (this is my personal opinion so feel free to agree to disagree) 1. through the eyes of teens young love is flawless for much longer than when you are an adult
2. it shows how pessimistic people are about relationships (have we really come to expect drama in everything always? why does it seem like we want that 17 year old boy hurt her emotionally in some way?
3. the "other half" of a mentally ill person often over compensates to give their partner the most support possible (they do this consciously and unconsciously)

and onto the negative which I am sorry to report was more prominent than the positive...

we got a really bad example of the medical profession (unable to diagnose or unwilling to help) which is not fair at all. Yes to a teenager or anyone really, not knowing exactly what is wrong, but knowing that something is in fact wrong can be crushing. From a GP's perspective though she was a normal weight, ate relatively regularly, had no extreme vitamin deficiencies that could not be fixed with a multivitamin. Physically meaning she was healthy enough.
The book really clung to the ARFID - which was probably the biggest problem and a root cause of some of the following issues - but I felt it should have also addressed depression, social anxiety, alcoholism, family dynamic and regular teenage hormonal behaviour. Especially when we get to the mental professionals side of everything, if she had been in and out of doctors offices her whole life (as apparently she had been) and then was later prescribed Zoloft other problems should have been brought up an addressed with a psychiatrist. Counselling should have played a part earlier than it did.
They "fear mongered" the mental institution for dramatic effect which can be hugely damaging for people seeking help and they never addressed the issue of self harming and how horrible, damaging and not ok it really is!

I think it is wonderful Stephanie Elliot has tried to write a fictional account based on what her daughter went through, but it really fell short during execution. And again as I have already said this novel could do much more harm than good in the community and circles that will be drawn to it.