When I added this book to my "to-read" shelf I didn't know about the "the treatments that don't quite seem to be working"-part since the Goodreads summary didn't include that bit of information and when I bought the book I didn't read the blurb. So I was quite surprised and anxious when I realized where this book is going to go. Looking back I'm happy that the Goodreads summary didn't include it because a) I'm not sure I would have bought the book knowing about that and b) as mentioned, it came to me as a surprise when I realized that Conors' Mom isn't going to survive. And I think that enhanced my reading experience a lot as I excepted a story about a boy struggling with the serious, but not deadly, illness of his mother and got a story that is heartbreaking, sad, hopeful and, yes, happy and wonderful, about the serious and deadly illness of this mother. And has a very important message. To kids. To teens. To adults.

In my opinion, the third person POV of Conor is perfect for this story. We see everything through his eyes and know (or don't know or don't want to know) as much as he does. We meet the Monster, we meet the Nightmare, we meet his Mom, Father, Grandmother, his friend Lily and his bullies through his eyes and therefore I've been able to feel what he feels - the despair, the grief, the fear, the anger, the loneliness, the alienness, the hope.

The Monster, well, I don't know who/what the Monster represents - God? A supernatural being? A part of Conors' imagination that helps him to cope? A part of Conor which knows what will happen and tries to prepare him of what will come? - and I think it's great that it is left open and that everybody can draw their own conclusions according to their believes.

I don't want to say too much about Conors' journey since I think that everybody should discover it on their own. Just that much - yes, it hurts to read and I cried almost all of the last four to five chapters long and I needed some time afterwards to just cry and work through all this (and I currently tearing up again, thinking about these chapters, damnit). It hurts to read knowing what will happen and that Conor knows it too but doesn't want to know it. That he has to call up a Monster in order to deal with his Nightmare.

The Nightmare is an important part of this book, of everyones life, even thought that it seems to be just a regular nightmare and not a big part of the story at first, and I like the message of it. The message, that, just because you think that it should be over doesn't mean that you want someone to die. That it is normal to think it and that you aren't a monster for it. It's important that this message is there. To be read by kids, teens and adults who have been and are in similar situations. To ease their pain of feeling guilty of having thought that, of feeling guilty for being the survivor. Because being the survivor is hard. Watching someone you love be ill, be in pain and dying and you can do nothing to stop it or at least ease the pain is so, so, so very hard. At one point you just want it to be over. For the loved one. For yourself. And that's okay. So, so, so very okay and it doesn't make you an evil person.

What also made my flail-y (in a good way) about this book are sentences like this: "Stories are wild creatures, the monster said. When you let them loose, who knows what havoc they might wreak?" The beginning, the first half I think, of this book is full of such wonderful sentences about stories and the impact they have on lives. Just like this story had on mine...