A review by lpm100
Dying Well: Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life by Ira Byock

medium-paced

5.0

Book review
5 stars
Dying Well
**********
This was a good book. 

I recommended it be read in conjunction with 2 others: 

1. Atul Gawande. "Being Mortal." 
2. Derek Humphry. "Final Exit."

What those two books offer that this one doesn't:

1. The Gawande book is more current (Byock was written in 1997), and he brings a lot more statistics to bear about average life expectancies and questions that you might ask if you were doing a cost-benefit analysis of whether or not to hang on.

2. The Humphry book actually talks about the nuts and bolts of assisted suicide (and neither of the other two books address this directly).

I can say the reading this book is not a waste, and that is because: if someone is himself watching a loved one die, it is not possible to do a dispassionate analysis of the situation.

The book has 12 chapters, each of which averaged about 20 pages. But, the chapters don't specify well what they talk about in the event that you wanted to read the book out of order (and you can do that).

**Introductory sections
1. Author's own personal story with his father's passing.
2. Author's starting to specialize in hospice care.
**Specific case examples
3. An example of repairing broken relationships prior to death.
4. An example of someone becoming so consumed with anger that psychiatric treatment becomes a problem in and of itself.
5. Three examples of the psychological cost of loss of dignity as a result of being a terminal patient.
6. An example of a patient that hung on just long enough to see a big lifetime event.
7. An example of a person getting in touch with his own emotions during this process of accepting his death. Also, an example of a person who leaves hospice due to new treatment.
8. An example of adjustment to a new role as a dependent.
9. An example of a parent having to let a very young child go, as well as the bonds of a family forming around the care of a young terminal patient.
10. An example of a patient suffering indescribably as a result of fighting too hard against inevitable death.
11. An example of a patient who took the death in the most natural and smooth way possible.
**Conclusion
12. Synopsis and final thoughts.
13. Frequently asked questions section.

The book is fairly well written and easy to read. 

It also has some extremely memorable quotes, which are worth reproducing in full:

(p. 31). "To those who know, no explanation is necessary; to those who don't know, no explanation is sufficient.

(p. 83). The true root of suffering is loss of meaning and purpose in life...... He who has a why to live, can bear almost any how."

Verdict: This book is worth the second hand price, and it can be read over two afternoons. Recommended.