Book Review:"Girlvert"
4/5 stars
"If this was not literary license, how is anyone alive after all this?"
*******
This is my sixth book about someone who worked in the adult industry.

The other 5 were:

Lisa Ann (In The Life)
Asa Akira (Insatiable)
Liara Roux (Whore of New York)
Kayley Sciortino (Slutever)
Tracy Quan (Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl)

and now : Ashley Blue (Girlvert)

I have yet to read a book by a male star, and the likelihood of getting a well written memoir is lower because there are many fewer males than females in the industry.

This book  is emphatically not for those faint of heart. (Another review of this book aptly said: "After every chapter I was in desperate need of a bleach bath, a lung X-Ray and a lengthy stint in rehab. How anyone had sex with this girl or how she is still alive are both miracles.")

What makes ME want to read this book?

1.  I make an intensive study of the parenting details of children who have been raised wrong so I can have some idea of what NOT to do.

2. I want to get a psychological profile of people who do such an unusual job. 

Do they all have damage? (It seems to be that way in every case.)

Were they abused as children? (It certainly was in this case, but it was of neglect and not sexual.)

Is it something about an addictive personality? (My own family is littered with alcoholics and drug addicts as far as the eye can see, but none of them have ever done adult work.) 

Do they all do this out of some sense of acedia? (It seems so. None of these people in these many other books were from poor families. Ashley Blue was Quintessential White Trash, but she never complained about being hungry.)

A Yiddishism says that "If a man is meant to drown, he will drown in a spoonful of water"--which makes me think that some people are just genetically unsalvageable. There is a very low life expectancy for people who do this job as a result of suicides and drug overdoses, and a lot of people in this book ended up either dead or in rehab. (And I think that being bent on self-destruction and being drug addicted are related, but not as strongly so as smoke and fire.)

It seems like at least 3 out of 6 subjects of the books liked pain and abuse as a sexual fetish. (Ashley: "I was used to being the one who got slapped and sodomized.")

Subjects in 2 out of the 6 books did sex work to the point where their orifices were damaged, but their partners spent all of the money.  (Liara Roux was tricked out by her wife pimp and had not one single penny to show for it by the time they divorced. Oriana: "I'd been making several thousand dollars a week, but I hadn't saved any of it.")

3. It got lots of reviews, so people must have seen something in it. (I am not familiar with Ashley Blue's work.)

Oriana Small/Ashley Blue does actually have a few insights:

1. "Older people look so stupid when they are fucked up and trying to hold on to something is intangible as youth. Youth can never be brought back, swallowed back, held back, or sold."

2. When she was on the Judge Mathis Show, she told us that the producers actually paid the settlement of the case.

3. "All the porno girls felt like Cinderella. On that one special evening we pretended to be bonafide film stars rather than glorified hookers."

4. When it comes to pornography, it's fair to expect that the viewers should know what to expect. If you don't want it, don't watch it. I don't know why anyone would find it necessary to protect the average pervert from a dirty movie.

*******
On one hand: it seems like the poor girl didn't have a chance; her mother was given up for adoption (heavy predictor of later mental problems), and then became a severe alcoholic / drug addict, with a revolving door of men. (She was actually a mother at 15 and divorced by 18.)

But then on the other: she had a sister who came out normal and got married and had three children and held down a stable job.

We all understand the meaning of the expression "There but for the grace of God go I,"  but sometimes we all need a story give it enough to help us remember.

This is that story.

Verdict:  Recommended at the price of $5.

°°°Oriana/Ashley, in her own words:

And my idea of fun consistent of experimenting with drugs and having sex with older men.

It always feel good to do this when I was barfing up my food alone over the toilet, so I just Incorporated the gratifying feeling of self purging into our sex.

Some nights there were more random guys that I really didn't know, but Colby said they were cool. I trusted him, his opinion.

At 18, I blew through a $20,000 trust that was supposed to be for college. I took out a loan for the education and spent the cash on a car, clothes, and drugs. Then I dropped out of school.

I've been fired, asked to quit, and just plain and not showing up for my last four jobs, all and only 5 months time.

You remind me of when I would have one night stands with strange, older men when I was a teenager. I was no stranger to sex with strangers.

Now, I really love seeing poop. It fascinates me. When it comes out of other girls during their sex scenes, is interesting.

I never thought about the risks of overdosing. My mother and father were drug addicts.

I shouldn't expect any better treatment from these pornographers, really. Why seekers respect? In a few minutes he's going to see me with my tongue in some guy's asshole.

Desiree would call the night before to tell us a present was coming. The next day, a FedEx envelope would arrive at our doorstep. I'd even signed for it. Delivered to our door with love, a bag of crystal meth and a couple of bars of Xanax.

We spent $1,000 a week on cocaine.

I always brought more coke with me when I was doing heavy anal scenes.

She holds the world record for putting the most chopsticks into her ass - 100 chopsticks.

Max throat-fucked me hard. That squeaking noise, from where the back of the esophagus is being crushed, resonated throughout the bathroom. Tyler stood up and started to piss on me. Both of them pissed at the same time.

I was calmer than expected after having my boyfriend asked me to pull out cash for a whore.

Desiree [boyfriend's 17 year old sister] wanted to stay the night with the sommelier, even though she was still on her period.

Cheryl [her mother] openly admitted that she smoked weed while pregnant with me.

At 14... The living conditions in our home have become unsuitable. There were needles lying around the entire house, with two other junkies living there.

My phone bills were $800 a month. Most of it went to things that I have nothing to show for now.

Staph goes around like wildfire in the porn business, and it leaves scars if you have to get it cut out.

We were making crack cocaine as if it were some children's science experiment..... How can we make a crack pipe?.... Out of an antenna. Or a light bulb. I've smoked crystal out of light bulbs lots of times.

Days later, Tyler was told that he wasn't his father's son. His mother had lied to him for his entire 18 years.

"Ori, he's my dad! I just want to spend some time with him. If he wants to smoke crack, we'll smoke crack. Don't be so fucking selfish."

As with his other dude-crushes, he thought the ultimate way to bond with Kris was to share me in bed. Tyler gave the gift of girlfriend ass. I was used to it. [She is 22 at this point.]

Tyler bought Trixie her airline ticket. He borrowed $500 from me to pay for their hotel room. I was going to stay home and shoot anal scenes to pay the bills and the rent.
The dilapidated house we shot at belongs to voltron, my old acquaintance from the "Pissmops" and "Meatholes" days.... Getting pounded in the ass is very empirical. I was in that moment and nowhere else.

Fulton had to resort to blowing the cocaine up Shasta's asshole to get her high. Her asshole was the only unblocked passageway into her body.

Thinking of him made me go so insane with rage that I had no problem going ballistic on the other girls. I shouted at them, pulled their hair, shoved giant toys in their butts, and stepped on their heads.

Sometimes, though, Jim wanted me to do things I didn't want to do. He wanted me to put a candy bar in my asshole and shit it out on a girl's face.

The morning of the flight, I drunk-drove to his house.

The abuse I received was in the form of neglect. I saw the attention very negatively. I must have slept with at least 30 guys by the age of 18.