This book was so good, and definitely a very good start to the reading year. I thought the pacing was good, the plot twists were fabulous, and I just felt really intrigued the whole time. I wasn’t expecting the ending, at all. I was 100% sure it was Neil, and he was working with Mira so that Saffy would never see Fox again. It makes sense, especially when you think that Mira sent the letter, and was secretly seeing Leona on the side… what was that about? 

I really felt for Saffy, I can’t lie. In fact, she’s the only decent character in this book, in my opinion. Neil acts all high and mighty when he cheated on her with the nanny, and Mira is the nanny, Ash is a bully, Harris I’m still not keen on to be fair, and Wes is, well, Wes. I’m really disappointed with Poppy, to be honest. I think she reminds me of someone I used to be friends with, so I can’t stand her, but continuously seeking out danger after a dangerous situation? Getting mad at Saffy for caring about her, even though their mum treated her like royalty, and Saffy like shit? I can’t stand her entitledness. And don’t get me started on Leona. She is the biggest villain of the book. All Saffy has ever done is loved and cared for her, and all she’s ever done is put her boyfriends above her. She doesn’t deserve Saffy’s forgiveness, or friendship. I’m sure that when she gets out of prison, she will do the exact same thing. She should be locked up for good, just like Wes is She had no thought for anyone else but herself when she started talking to Wes again; she didn’t even give a single thought about her daughter, during that. I mean, I hate that Saffy was so mistreated in this book, but I also think it made me really invested in her, and I bonded with her a lot more too, as I felt sort of protective? So, in the end, it all worked out. 

There was a lot of things that I needed more answers to, though… For one, I felt like Rosie’s disappearance was glossed over. Like how did she feel about it all, what was she told? Like, when she was taken by Leona and Wes, what happened with that? Does she know about Ash? Because Ash was like a father to her, so did she know about it? And how did she take his disappearance from her life? I still don’t understand how they got out of the house without Rosie catching on to something, because she surely would know if her father is bleeding? And does she finally find out that her real father is Harry/Harris? And do they have a good relationship now? Like come on, I need answers! 

Also, one thing I didn’t exactly find clear, was Ash actually abusive? I also don’t know why Harry was following them around? Like he could just go and talk to them. And, if he’s certain she won’t talk to him back, then why wouldn’t he just leave them alone? I don’t know, something didn’t sit right with me about him, I just can’t seem to like him. 

Overall, this book is very mysterious, and very intriguing, and I would definitely recommend! It’s quite a long book, but definitely worth it. 

 

We follow Saffy as she’s just about to have an interview for a job. For a while, due to her declining mental health, she hasn’t had custody of her son, Fox, and has been trying to just make ends meet. Now, feeling a little better, she is ready to have him more bin her life, and to do that, she needs to have a stable job that earns more money. 

Just a mere seconds before the interview, she receives three texts from her best friend, Leona. It tells her that she has to come immediately, to not call police, and that she needs help. Saffy is struggling with what to do, because she needs the job, but she also knows her best friend wouldn’t play with her like this. She runs out of the interview, pushes into the cab line and races around to her house. 

The week before, Leona had got in touch and asked her to go out for drinks. Her and Leona had drifted for a while, so Saffy was so excited to meet up with her again. When she got there, after a few drinks had been consumed, Leona told her about the abuse she suffered from Ash, her partner. The mental abuse, and the physical abuse. Saffy was shocked, but not surprised, because Leona had a habit of choosing men who weren’t good for her. 

With this in mind, Saffy was certain that Ash had done something to Leona. But, just as quick as the texts appeared, they had been deleted. And, when Saffy finally arrived at Leona’s house, and had spoken to her, Leona seemed perplexed at Saffy’s actions. According to her, no messages had been sent, or deleted. But, when Ash came into view, she could no longer talk about. 

Leona’s daughter, Rosie, was talking to her about Fox, about wanting to see him again, and she searched the house once she had left Leona’s gaze. She found a pendant, belonging to her mother, which she assumed Ash had stolen from her ages ago, and now she finally had proof. She stole it back, and left them to it. 

She couldn’t get over the fact that something was wrong, but, with Leona not telling her anything, the only thing she could do is worry. She confided in her younger sister, Poppy, who told her to stop getting involved in other people’s lives. Poppy suffered from an incident when she went off to college, where someone broke in and attempted to kill her, and ever since then Saffy has been nervous around people, and extra worried. Poppy, being an adult now, wants to be smothered less by Saffy. 

Saffy has a few evenings where she can pick Fox up, and she lives for them. She couldn’t be the mother he needed after the incident, but she is trying to be now. So she picks him up, and takes him home, and tries to ignore everything going on around her. But that is a little difficult when the police turn up, demanding to see Saffy. Poppy takes care of Fox, whilst she is questioned. She has no clue what’s going on, until the police tell her that Leona and her family are missing, and the neighbours reported her as the last person to see them all alive. 

She has to go down to the police station, and Neil, her ex-husband, tells her that whilst she is involved with the police, she cannot see Fox, which breaks her heart, as he was due to stay with her for the whole weekend, and she was so looking forward to it. It doesn’t help that Fox started calling Mira, their old nanny and Neil’s new partner (typical), mummy, so she feels fully out of the picture. 

A few days go by, and Saffy is certain that Ash is behind the disappearance, but she feels the police is working against her, as if she is the prime suspect. The police search the house, but they find nothing. So, she goes and searches herself. She has a key, so she doesn’t break in, but she does sneak past the police tape. She is looking for Leona’s journal, to show the police that Ash was abusing her, because so far, it is only her word for evidence. She finds a pregnancy test, and a letter from Harris, Rosie’s father, who was sent to prison, and wanted nothing to do with Rosie. He wanted to see Rosie, and Saffy was wondering why Leona never told her any of this. On top of that, Ash had a vasectomy, so there’s no way that he is the father of Leona’s child. Maybe he saw that she was having an affair, and wanted to punish her for it? She’s even more confused when Poppy breaks a window, and catches her snooping. Turns out, she was having an affair with Ash, and he has a secret phone, which had messages and photos on there that could incriminate her. Saffy, knowing her innocent sister is gone (unaware that she was sleeping with dangerous men to feel some sort of control) promises not to say anything, as long as she gives this information to the police. Meanwhile, Poppy is seeing someone on the side, whom she hasn’t told Saffy about. Someone called Harry, who has charm and also a bit of danger in him; she likes a bad boy. 

While Saffy is trying to find her friend, trying to clear her name in an effort to see her boy, the police are sure that Saffy is involved. When Ash turns up dead, the one Saffy was sure was the mastermind behind it all, she is arrested, but then released, because they couldn’t find enough evidence. She decides to lay low for a while. 

When poppy finds out Saffy was arrested for the murder of Ash, she tells Harry, who’s face becomes weird. She knows he knows something. She goes back to his house, and when he hides something, she knows she has to look at it. When he leaves, she roots through the drawers, and all sorts of photos and documents. He’s been following them, but mostly Leona’s family, and she is sure she is in danger, but she needs to find out more to save her sister. There’s one more thing: Harry’s legal name is Harris. Rosie’s father. 

When he gets back, he is aggressive, and she thinks she won’t make it out alive, until he tries to explain. He was following them because Leona wouldn’t let him see Rosie, when he didn’t even know that she was pregnant. He served years in prison for fraud, and came back and followed them when he did. Poppy opened up to him, telling him that Ash asked her to spy on Leona, because he was sure she was having an affair. Those were the photos on the phone she was looking for, and they were sure to make her look guilty. 

When Poppy brings Harry over to Saffy’s, to show her the photos of Leona and her family, Saffy is shocked. She hates that Harris is with her sister, and she has found another person who’s dangerous. But she gives in, looks at the photos, and goes all cold. She leaves to have a shower, but then they see her leave the building, and they know it was just a ruse. She must have recognised the person in the photo, but they don’t know who it is. They find the location she has left on her computer (as one of the photos was of a cabin in the woods) and they decide to follow her. 

When Saffy gets to the cabin, she starts exploring, but is knocked out and captured in the process. When she looks up, she finds Leona, but Leona doesn’t rush to help her out. And then Wes, her old lover, jumps out. Leona never told her about him getting back in touch, and so is very confused. Things start to make more sense, as she realises that Leona is in on his plan too. 

After the death of his brother from years ago, Wes became sheltered, and kept to himself. The was, until he found out that Saffy had a part to play in his death. Not far from the cabin, there was a body of water, which Wes’ brother was playing in with his friends, trying to act all mighty. But the current took him away. His fiends scrambled to get helps and Saffy tried to save him, but the current was too strong, and he ended up dying. Saffy was already losing her friendship to Leona because of Wes, and this would obliterate it completely, so she didn’t say she tried to save him. She was unaware, at the time, that one of Wes’ brother’s friends had seen this happen, and had kept quiet about it all these year. However, when Wes found out about it, he wanted to kill them. The attack on Poppy was him, which they didn’t know about. Leona didn’t know this was in his plan. She didn’t know he would kill Ash, or that he would want to kill Saffy, or that he was the person who attacked Poppy. 

When Poppy and Harris show up, the police not too far behind them, Saffy is seconds away from being killed, but then they grab him. At least they have closure, and Poppy knows who attacked her, so they can try and move on. They end up going to the hospital for minor injuries, which they heal from. Saffy finally gets weekends with her boy, and her relationship with Poppy is being mended. Saffy forgives Leona, who only was helping Wes because she thought that he was in love with her, when it was actually all in his plan for revenge. She ends up losing her baby, and is then arrested.