Let me start by saying that I absolutely loved this book once it picked up. The first third of this book was painfully, dreadfully difficult to wade through and I almost DNF'd multiple times. If it wasn't for the encouragement from mutuals and anons over on my blog (@acotars on tumblr!), I would not have continued. Which would have been an absolute shame because the vibes become impeccable. I've written in more detail about what eventually brought me back around on this book, and included it in spoiler tags in case anyone wants a fresh reading experience. If you, like me, are struggling to stick with this one, check out the spoilers! They might change your mind!

The book opens with Naomi, who now hates her fiance Nicholas. She feels trapped by him, and sees every single thing he does as an act of instigation and passive aggression. She wants to end their engagement, but doesn't want to look like the bad guy out of spite. She decides if she's miserable, she wants him to be too. Then, she starts to realize that this new game of chicken has been his angle the whole time and she's just been on the outs. It's a lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers set up where they are engaged the whole time. 

This enemies portion is thankfully contained to the first third. This was so painful to read that I was only reading a few pages a day for over a week. The enemies portion was overwhelmingly sad and upsetting to read. Nicholas felt irredeemable as a love interest to me if this was the open. Eventually though, we and Naomi learn that this game of chicken was almost entirely one-sided. That Nicholas loved her the whole time. At a certain point in their relationship, Naomi's insecurities took over and rather than talk about them openly with him, she projected her insecurities onto him, making her feel like he was the one thinking and feeling these things about her. Things like she was dead weight, she was going nowhere, she was too stupid and unskilled, etc. She began disassociating and withdrawing further and further into himself. Nicholas's mother plays a major role in this novel as an abuser of both Naomi and Nicholas. Naomi is so wrapped up in the abuse she endures, it becomes difficult for her to see Nicholas is just as much a victim. The competition she invents with Nicholas ends up being the spark that brings her back to life, so to speak. Then, over a few months, she and Nicholas become friends again, and fall in love with each other again. It was one of the most beautiful second chance romances I've ever ever read, but the beginning was painful, and unnecessarily long.

The first 80 pages really could have been about 8 pages and it wouldn't have changed the impact of the story. Because of this, I dropped it down a star. But this was a five star read for me in all other ways, and something I will absolutely recommend with a caveat in the future.