Considering my first reaction to the proposed approach of conflict was to say to myself "I'd probably punch someone if they talked to me like that"... I needed this book. 

I consider myself a pretty good communicator but this book definitely challenged me in the ways I unconsciously shame people for the sake of my own gain, and even more so, employ certain tactics knowing they'll cause harm as long as it benefits me.

Furthermore, I really appreciate the approach of speaking through needs. My first thought was "this is selfish" ie wrong. But the more I read the more I realized I've just been conditioned (as a woman, as a people pleaser, as a Christian, whatever works) to forego my own needs in the name of serving others. 

As we must put our own oxygen mask on, so we must tend to our needs and then to others, to cut through all the excess emotion and misunderstanding. 

I also really like the practical approach the author uses regarding empathy. I consider myself an empath, although I realized a couple years ago that what I really mean is I take other people's emotions on. I think I shut down that part of myself for a while as almost tipping too far to the other side of the scale. But the author offers practical tips/tricks on how to employ empathy while keeping yourself unconsumed. 

I have a list of things I want to do with a future spouse before marriage and this got added as a book I'd like for him to read and us to discuss and implement.