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A review by niceisneat
The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things by Carolyn Mackler
4.0
This is a book about: the unbearable hypocrisy of parents, roll-on glitter, TRL, the advantages of not owning a mirror, Teen People, the advantages of never allowing rich white boys to exist near you, and unappreciated Rice Krispie treats.
Summary: Virginia Shreves' parents are super rich. Rich enough that they find no fault with paying for their son to live on-campus at a college only 3 or 4 miles away from their home. Her parents and brother all have several things in common: they speak fluent French, they're thin, they're gorgeous, they're entitled, pompous, and rude, and they don't care about anyone but themselves. Her sister shares four of these seven qualities; Virginia shares none. She believes she must have been switched at birth, because how else could her parents have ended up with a fat daughter whom they're so unabashedly ashamed of? Virginia longs to fit in with her perfect family and tries everything from thinspo to crash dieting to do it- under the unsympathetic tutelage of her formerly-fat mother. But when Byron, Virginia's 20-year-old brother, moves back home after being suspended from college for committing an unforgivable crime, Virginia starts to realize that family isn't as perfect as they'd like to believe themselves.
The good:
-It's a sign of a good antagonist that I want to reach in and stab them in the face. And I want to stab Virginia's family so badly. To her father: it is not appropriate ever to tell your daughter that she could be hot if she lost thirty pounds. To Byron: To her mother: you are a piece of work. What is wrong with you? The thing about Virginia's mother is that she's an adolescent psychologist who spends all day hearing about teenager's whose parents have ruined their lives and yet she completely fails to see realize that she herself is ruining her daughter's life. Phyllis is so controlling and so mean that she almost-singlehandedly makes her daughter hate herself to the point where . And Phyllis completely fails to see the irony in this. Just like a lot of parents, The Shreves' are emotionally abusing their daughter and they don't even realize it. It's one of the most realistic portrayals of parent-child relationships I've ever read.
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The bad:
-The end is pretty quick. This is sort of a universal complaint I've seen in reviews and it really does feel rushed.
-While it's realistic that Byron isn't punished for his actions beyond a half-semester suspension, I don't appreciate the fact that no one in the novel takes any kind of offense to this. He deserved a more severe punishment, but no one seems to see anything wrong with it.
-Annie Mills, gives a speech about how some survivors "choose to be victims" and that's just bullshit. That's victim-blaming and it's gross and the book would be better if that line were crossed out entirely.
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Overall: I first read this book when I, like Virginia, was fifteen years old. I don't know that I'd go so far as to say it saved my life, but it definitely changed it. This is the book that taught me that it's okay to be fat. This is the book that taught me that putting an object in front of you when you sit down will give you the illusion that no one can tell how big your stomach is, a habit I still have eight years later. This is the book that taught me that when someone criticizes you for your size, they are the ones at fault and not you. This is the book that taught me that it was okay to love myself even when others found me disgusting. This is the book that taught me that I was okay. And despite its faults and its terribly outdated TRL references, I will always love it for that.
Summary: Virginia Shreves' parents are super rich. Rich enough that they find no fault with paying for their son to live on-campus at a college only 3 or 4 miles away from their home. Her parents and brother all have several things in common: they speak fluent French, they're thin, they're gorgeous, they're entitled, pompous, and rude, and they don't care about anyone but themselves. Her sister shares four of these seven qualities; Virginia shares none. She believes she must have been switched at birth, because how else could her parents have ended up with a fat daughter whom they're so unabashedly ashamed of? Virginia longs to fit in with her perfect family and tries everything from thinspo to crash dieting to do it- under the unsympathetic tutelage of her formerly-fat mother. But when Byron, Virginia's 20-year-old brother, moves back home after being suspended from college for committing an unforgivable crime, Virginia starts to realize that family isn't as perfect as they'd like to believe themselves.
The good:
-It's a sign of a good antagonist that I want to reach in and stab them in the face. And I want to stab Virginia's family so badly. To her father: it is not appropriate ever to tell your daughter that she could be hot if she lost thirty pounds. To Byron:
Spoiler
you raped someone. Will you be paying for it for the rest of your life? No. Because you are a rich white boy and you'll never have to apologize for anything. Do you deserve to pay for it for the rest of your life? Yes. You really, really do. Do I have any sympathy for your crocodile tears? Nope.Spoiler
Virginia begins to self-harm because she believes that she deserves the pain-
Spoiler
I love that Virginia and her parents don't really make up at the end. She has a talk with her dad about how his comments on her body make her uncomfortable, but she never makes up with her mom. It would be too cutesy-cutesy for Mackler to have had them make up. They have a little conversation about the hair, but all in all, nothing really changes for Phyllis and Virginia and I love that, because the reality is that the extensive emotional harm that Phyllis has inflicted on her daughter is going to take a lot more than a page-long apology and a hug to get over.The bad:
-The end is pretty quick. This is sort of a universal complaint I've seen in reviews and it really does feel rushed.
-While it's realistic that Byron isn't punished for his actions beyond a half-semester suspension, I don't appreciate the fact that no one in the novel takes any kind of offense to this. He deserved a more severe punishment, but no one
Spoiler
even the girl he raped-Annie Mills,
Spoiler
the girl Byron raped-
Spoiler
Virginia knows full and well that Brie is bulimic and even having suffered from disordered eating herself, she offers no comfort about it. I understand that Brie was awful towards her in the beginning and that beyond helping each other with homework on the bleachers, they're never going to be friends, but I don't see how Virginia can sit there and not even offer a shoulder to Brie during her illness. Having been bullied about weight myself, I know it's painful for Virginia, but I feel like in a similar situation, I would at least pat Brie on the shoulder.Overall: I first read this book when I, like Virginia, was fifteen years old. I don't know that I'd go so far as to say it saved my life, but it definitely changed it. This is the book that taught me that it's okay to be fat. This is the book that taught me that putting an object in front of you when you sit down will give you the illusion that no one can tell how big your stomach is, a habit I still have eight years later. This is the book that taught me that when someone criticizes you for your size, they are the ones at fault and not you. This is the book that taught me that it was okay to love myself even when others found me disgusting. This is the book that taught me that I was okay. And despite its faults and its terribly outdated TRL references, I will always love it for that.