It's really tricky to write about a character losing weight over the course of a story while they also learn valuable lessons about life and confidence and such. People are allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies, and it's not inherently fatphobic to have a story where a fat character decides to change their lifestyles and get fit. That CAN be a triumphant story.

However, In this book's case, I think the thing that could have been better defined is: Ari lost weight... really, just in response to other peoples' comments.

And while that's really really realistic (more on how VERY REALISTIC this book is in a sec), boy oh boy do people feel compelled to comment on fat bodies, I feel... frustrated that Ari changed himself (that his parents made him change himself) because people told him to. It lessens the idea that he is "figuring out who he really is" over the course of the story -- would he be pretty fine with who he "is" if mean people weren't always telling him, "it's bad to be fat"? I think he would, because on page 2 right off the bat, Ari tells us: "Even though I'm overweight, I can still do everything everyone else can...but people just see me as different."

I think if the framing was different, if the focus was that Ari wanted to change his body because he didn't actually like eating a lot of food but just felt trapped by bad coping skills, or that he wanted to do a sport that was difficult for him, or something like that, this would be a much more powerful story. I think we could have had both the realistic bullying AND also Ari realizing that being more fit made HIM feel better since he could do [specific activity that he couldn't before]. Because I do want to cheer for Ari to do awesome activities that maybe he couldn't before! I don't really want to cheer for Ari to change his body because mean people told him he should.

Basically, my takeaway from the book was this: Ari's parents and doctors are bad people for putting him on this crash diet. I think what I personally wanted from this book is: I wanted Ari to have more space to be mad at those people for putting him on this crash diet because he loves himself!

This book still deserves a high rating IMO because it is SO realistic, so raw, and I think would still be a good (careful) read for young people who are trying to figure out how they feel about themselves. The self-harm scene is heartbreaking. The way Ari describes his cravings and his relationship with food makes sense as-is even if I wish there was more of him, himself, realizing he doesn't want to eat like that anymore. I love the way Ari and his friends bond over their activities that have nothing to do with a person's size or appearance. I think the way crushes are handled makes sense. I love how Ari starts applying lessons he learns from the Rabbi in his adventures.

Really, overall, this is powerful. It's just that I think changing the framing would have made this truly a haunting AND triumphant experience.

(Content warnings: self-harm, some alcohol/tobacco use, some antisemitic speech)