TW this is not a young adult book due to very heavy themes and sexual content. 

Ella's life of torm apart when her brother does the unthinkable and is sentenced to death row. Now a pariah, Ella is trying to navigate her new life and broken family.

Jennifer Hartman does it again. This story was so beautiful and heartbreaking, such a rollercoaster of emotions. The story and characters are so complex and have so much depth. This book explores the ideas of finding hope after loss and trauma, forgiving yourself, and the complexity of relationships/family. 

When she was seven, Ella moved away with her father and meets Max, they quickly become best friends. Out of nowhere, her father send her back to live with her mother and she loses contact with Max.

Years later, Ella is living the perfect life when brother Jonah is convicted of double murder and put on death row. Ella's world falls apart and she becomes the target of bullying and abuse. After going broke, Ella and her mother move back to the same small town she lived in before. 

Max, his twin brother (McKay), and father were abandoned by their mother and are barley surviving. Their father drank away his pain and will often have violent outbursts directed at his sons. Everything has fallen on to Max's shoulders and he is hanging on by a thread. 
 
Ella reconnects with Max and though they fight their feelings, they can't deny the pull they have. They endure so much trauma and abuse that they are scared to love and let anyone in.

ex. McKay tries to rape Ella and when she falls off the bluff, he leaves her for dead. After her brother is released on a technicality, he shoots McKay.

 

Ella is so lost. She loves her brother, he has always been her protector, but her feelings are odds with the fact that he is a convicted murderer. She has always wanted to defend him, but there was always a kernal of doubt.

When she finally frees herself from the burden of him being on her conscious, she becomes lighter and free. He had been the albatross around her neck.

It was so beautiful to see Ella and Max's relationship develop as they learn to drop their guards and trust one another. They are one another home, neither time nor space could ever destroy that. 

So much happens in this story, but the one constant is Max and Ella's support for one another and their unconditional love. They will so anything for each other even if that means giving each other the space to heal. Though that was a hard part to read,

their almost 3 years apart gives Ella a chance to find herself and heal her heart and gives Max a chance to settle his life. It was a necessary part to their story. You need to love yourself before you can love another.

The ending was perfect.

He finds her on her 21st birthday and surprises her with a small horse farm.

Tropes: second chance, childhood best friends, small town, first loves, coming of age