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A review by lpm100
A Seat at the Table: A Novel of Forbidden Choices by Joshua Halberstam
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? N/A
3.0
Book Review
A Seat At The Table
3/5 stars
"Moderately Interesting. Forgettable. Not quite the Jewish version of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?"
*******
The saving grace of this book is that it is only a couple of easy afternoons worth of reading time. (Chapters are about 15 pages on average, and the whole book is under 300 pages.)
I've read a number of these OTD ("off the derech") books, and I'm just not sure what I learned from this one.
So far, these books appear to be of three types:
1. Autobiographical accounts. Think of people like Deborah Feldman/Shulem Deem/Julia Haart.
2. Books that are thinly veiled accounts of what really did happen. Think of "Hush," by "Eishes Chayil."
3. Books that are totally fictional. And that would be the one that I'm currently reviewing.
In the afterword, the author makes it a point to say that "it is not my story, nor are its characters stand-ins for real individuals."
But then, one page later, it says that he is descended from prominent Hasidic dynasties on both sides.
It seems that the reader will have to forever alternate between overlooking knowledge because what is written here is "just fiction" and attributing didactic mass to situations that don't even have any vague basis in reality.
*******
I have read these books because I wanted to know what are some of the commonalities and people that go OTD so that I can either:
1. Know way steps NOT to take with my own children to avoid it happening OR
2. Know that this might be something that just happens no matter what anybody does.
It seems like these stories have commonalities, but in a way they're never the same story twice. (Never COULD be the same story twice.)
But, these stories must happen quite frequently--because even in spite of the fact that Haredi birth rates have long been two times higher than those of Modern Orthodox Jews and probably four times higher than that of secular Jews, they still manage to stay about 10% of all of Jewry. (Somebody has run the numbers and noted that they should be over 90% of all Jews after only a couple of generations.)
This can only be explained by a large amount of attrition.
*******
It seems like this author is telling me ONE story that I have often read before, which is: a young Jewish person discovers a secular library or a university education and they realize that there are other ways of life that work for the other 99.9% of America (and the other 90% of Israel).
It seems like the author is telling me a ANOTHER story that I've not read before in any of my many other OTD books, but which is not hard to believe: a Young and Sheltered Jewish Man somehow discovers (blond) non-Jewish muff (it does seem that Jewish gentleman prefer blondes) and Young and Sheltered Jewish Man he realizes that there's no contest between going somewhere and laying up and spending moist evenings with a girl he likes versus ritually finding ways to make life as inconvenient✓ as✓possible✓(=Haredism).
And I have actually heard from a Syrian Jewish man that that is the reason that they're banned on accepting conversions was enacted-- too many young Jewish Syrian men spread their wild oats with all of these extra-community blondes that were available.
There are so many people stateside that are claiming to be patrilineally Jewish/half Jewish / a quarter Jewish, that this has to happen a lot more than anybody wants to admit.
*******
What are some of the other running themes that I see in the book that I have seen here?
1. The initial break has varying degrees of acrimony.
2. After that, the wayward child and parents find an equilibrium and the policy becomes open door with the chance to return.
3. The process of going OTD happens as a series of stages.
*******
There are lots of very good Hasidic quotes at the head of each chapter. And the author does suggest that the plot was vestigial / only a vehicle to find a reason to use those witty quotes.
Ok...... There is a book of Yiddish folklore that is much better in that way.
Verdict: Nothing all that special, but worth a read at the price of <$1.
A Seat At The Table
3/5 stars
"Moderately Interesting. Forgettable. Not quite the Jewish version of "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?"
*******
The saving grace of this book is that it is only a couple of easy afternoons worth of reading time. (Chapters are about 15 pages on average, and the whole book is under 300 pages.)
I've read a number of these OTD ("off the derech") books, and I'm just not sure what I learned from this one.
So far, these books appear to be of three types:
1. Autobiographical accounts. Think of people like Deborah Feldman/Shulem Deem/Julia Haart.
2. Books that are thinly veiled accounts of what really did happen. Think of "Hush," by "Eishes Chayil."
3. Books that are totally fictional. And that would be the one that I'm currently reviewing.
In the afterword, the author makes it a point to say that "it is not my story, nor are its characters stand-ins for real individuals."
But then, one page later, it says that he is descended from prominent Hasidic dynasties on both sides.
It seems that the reader will have to forever alternate between overlooking knowledge because what is written here is "just fiction" and attributing didactic mass to situations that don't even have any vague basis in reality.
*******
I have read these books because I wanted to know what are some of the commonalities and people that go OTD so that I can either:
1. Know way steps NOT to take with my own children to avoid it happening OR
2. Know that this might be something that just happens no matter what anybody does.
It seems like these stories have commonalities, but in a way they're never the same story twice. (Never COULD be the same story twice.)
But, these stories must happen quite frequently--because even in spite of the fact that Haredi birth rates have long been two times higher than those of Modern Orthodox Jews and probably four times higher than that of secular Jews, they still manage to stay about 10% of all of Jewry. (Somebody has run the numbers and noted that they should be over 90% of all Jews after only a couple of generations.)
This can only be explained by a large amount of attrition.
*******
It seems like this author is telling me ONE story that I have often read before, which is: a young Jewish person discovers a secular library or a university education and they realize that there are other ways of life that work for the other 99.9% of America (and the other 90% of Israel).
It seems like the author is telling me a ANOTHER story that I've not read before in any of my many other OTD books, but which is not hard to believe: a Young and Sheltered Jewish Man somehow discovers (blond) non-Jewish muff (it does seem that Jewish gentleman prefer blondes) and Young and Sheltered Jewish Man he realizes that there's no contest between going somewhere and laying up and spending moist evenings with a girl he likes versus ritually finding ways to make life as inconvenient✓ as✓possible✓(=Haredism).
And I have actually heard from a Syrian Jewish man that that is the reason that they're banned on accepting conversions was enacted-- too many young Jewish Syrian men spread their wild oats with all of these extra-community blondes that were available.
There are so many people stateside that are claiming to be patrilineally Jewish/half Jewish / a quarter Jewish, that this has to happen a lot more than anybody wants to admit.
*******
What are some of the other running themes that I see in the book that I have seen here?
1. The initial break has varying degrees of acrimony.
2. After that, the wayward child and parents find an equilibrium and the policy becomes open door with the chance to return.
3. The process of going OTD happens as a series of stages.
*******
There are lots of very good Hasidic quotes at the head of each chapter. And the author does suggest that the plot was vestigial / only a vehicle to find a reason to use those witty quotes.
Ok...... There is a book of Yiddish folklore that is much better in that way.
Verdict: Nothing all that special, but worth a read at the price of <$1.