I gave this book another try after having shelved this as DNF last year. I think that after powering through the wittier, dirtier books by Chelsea Handler, diving into this particular book wasn't the best choice. It was like going from dirty college sex to heavy petting in high school.

The chapters are short, and the contents are random. I will launch into spoiler mode from this point forward, so be warned.

Chapter 1: Ruff Love - She is 13 and nabbed herself a boyfriend whose laugh sounds like a bark.

Chapter 2: Thoughts About My First Agent's Girlfriend's Vagina - She housits/dogsits for her agent, who then shows her a closeup picture of his gf's vag.

Chapter 3: The Sweetest Moments in Geek History! Of All Time! - Just a rundown of geeky events in human history, starting with 1391 BC when Moses led his people out of Egypt, and ending with January 20, 2009 when Obama is inaugurated. Editor must've skipped this chapter because that "more smarter" thing threw me off for a second.

Chapter 4: Star Wars Can Totally Help You In Life - Some nonsensical epiphany about her use of the force to deal with haters.

Chapter 5: Random True Story #1 - Her boyfriend confesses to fantasizing about sucking dick post-coitus.

Chapter 6: Sex: What You Can Do to Help Yourself Have More of It - Unsolicited sex advice

Chapter 7: My Fans Rule--and Are Really Good Artists - Notice how she says 'good', not 'awesome' or 'phenomenal'. Just pictures of her fan's artwork featuring herself and a lot of pies.

* Chapter 8: The First Rule of Kindergarten is That You Have to Bribe Kids to Let Them Play With You - This one was actually kind of sad. She recalls the time when she and her stepsister Annie went to kindergarten together, but she'd always be shunned or forgotten in favor of Annie, pretty and blonde and well-dressed. Annie got invited a birthday party, but Olivia didn't. The playhouse in the school had a five-players-only limit, and even though Olivia always got there first, Annie and her four other friends would still kick her out. One day, she brings a doll to school to bribe the girls into letting her play with them. They agree, but only if she plays the dog. And you know what happens to the dog? It stays outside. :(

Chapter 9: My Dinner with Harvard's Finest - She goes to dinner with a famous Hollywood director and his social climbing girlfriend who comes from "Harvard". This director unabashedly humiliates this doormat of a girl in front of everyone.

Chapter 10: The Ten Major Points of Olivia Munn's 2024 Presidential Campaign Platform - A list of ten things, including "The judicial system will be abolished in favor of a UFC/MMA fight between the two opposing parties."

Chapter 11: What to Do When the Robots Invade (Yes, When!) - This chapter was meh and I can't remember much of it. I guess she wrote it to support her geekiness.

Chapter 12: Muscle Relaxers and Swimming Fully Clothed Don't Really Go Together So Good - Wedding in Mexico. She gets drunk off her ass (for the first time?) and takes muscle relaxers, after which she and the rest of the bride's entourage go into the ocean. She almost drowns but her boyfriend saves her. She takes a nekkid shower with the maid of honor and they end up making out, but stop when a wine bottle in the shower breaks.

Chapter 13: Surefire Pickup Lines for College Kids Trying to Nail their Teachers - Text on chalkboard. Pickup lines that will probably get you suspended and the professor fired if either of you fall for this chapter.

Chapter 14: A Gallery of Great Women - Her dressed in costumes representing Annie Oakley, Catherine the Great, Princess Leia, etc.

* Chapter 15: On the Playboy Cover Shoot, Scandinavian Stylists, and Picking Out Panties - I enjoyed this chapter. She got offered to do the Playboy cover, but declined. They offered again, but no nudity this time, which she accepted. The brouhaha started when the Scandinavian stylist insisted on dressing her in revealing fishnet everything.

Chapter 16: The Time I Met the Champ - She was walking around the mall and ran into Evander Holyfield, who asks to join her for lunch. He makes a move on her.

Chapter 17: Dating Tips to Totally Help You Score! - Like the other chapter about robots, this was boring.

* Chapter 18: The Worst Day Ever - This was probably the only heart-wrenching chapter in this book. I know Chapter 8 was sad, but this one made me shed a tear. She goes through a depressed, angry state during the start of college, when she lived with her grandparents. I'm not even going to spoil this. You have to read this yourself.

Chapter 19: Princess Leia Tweets Star Wars - Just a peek at Princess Leia's Twitter timeline.

Chapter 20: Random True Story #2 - She mistakes Lil Jon for Lil Wayne.

* Chapter 21: "Masturbatory" is Not Always a Metaphor in Hollywood - Gross director unashamedly jerks off in front of her.

Chapter 22: Spotting Asshole Made Easy - A 25-item list that includes "People who honk their horns the freaking second the light turns green."

Chapter 23: Boys Can Be Really Great--and Also Really F'ing Annoying - A list of things that boys should avoid doing.

Chapter 24: Here's the Part About Moving to Oklahoma, Throwing my First Party, and Fake Sleeping to Trick the Cops - She admits to wanting to be popular in school (who doesn't) and gets roped into throwing a party at her house. Assholes from school try to rob her.

Chapter 25: Unfortunate Email Sign-Offs - A 10-item list that includes "Jesus Loves You" and "Sent from my iPhone".

Chapter 26: The Day I Saw My First Antique Dildo - She visits a Hugh Hefner-type of director who gifts her an antique dildo.

Chapter 27: I Did it All for the Love of Pie - She recalls the time she dressed in a French maid outfits and jumped into a giant chocolate pie for Attack of the Show.

Chapter 28: Random True Story #3 - While working on Insanitarium, she tells the story of how Peter Stormare really pushed to have a shower scene with her.

Chapter 29: Why I'd Rather Date a Geek - This was so pandering that I got second-hand embarrassment reading this. I get it. You're into geek culture. Geeks aren't gross anymore--they are passionate and sexy. Simmer down.

Chapter 30: Suck It, Wonder Woman! - She plays a variety of female action heroes and questions why there is so much boobs and spandex.

Chapter 31: Location, Location, etc. - "These are all times when life was so crazy and weird, you just really needed to be there…" She tells the story of when she peed her pants in fourth grade but insisted it was just the melted ice in her pocket; when she was putting boxes of peaches in her car and the impatient bitch behind her kept screaming at her to move her car; a friend kept fucking up her job as Olivia's assistant and then gardener; and her run-in with a cheating ex-boyfriend.

Chapter 32: FAQ for a Supergeek - Ugh.

So while I may have judged too harshly during my first run with this book, I still stand by half of my first review. This was insanely marketed for "geeks" and "nerds". You know what I don't like? People who label themselves geeks, nerds, weirdos. She was over the top on that one. Wasn't very hilarious, either, so I'm not sure if she really tried to be funny or if she was forcing it so hard that the comedy completely flew over my head. And oh my god--her love for pie is ridiculous.

I enjoyed her sadder chapters, in fact. The story about her kindergarten bullies and her grandmother hit a heartstring. She should stick to that. She knows how to write sadness in a way that really makes the reader empathize with her.

So now that I'm done with this review, I'm going to dig in to that chocolate satin pie I got from Marie Callender's, specifically after reading her pie diving chapter. Way to go for pie marketing.