Check out this review and more on my blog, Maya’s Reviews.

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Thank you to Debra Newell, BenBella Books, and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

All quotes are taken from Surviving Dirty John by Debra Newell with William Phelps.

//Content warning: abuse, murder, assault, blood, death, drugs, addiction//

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// Quick Review //
5/5 Stars

Surviving Dirty John is a novel of survival, in which Debra Newell bares her soul to the reader in order to share her side of the story. The abuse and trauma that she suffered at the hands of John Meehan is written precisely in a 324 page novel of fact.

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"We think we are immune to the horrific stories of bloodshed and extreme violence we see on television. We think evil visits only the person next door. We think that simply meeting another human being for a casual coffee date, or a dinner we hope could evolve into a relationship and maybe even love, is never going to turn around and serve as a catalyst for violence. And yet it happens every single day in this country."

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// Other Information //
Publisher: BenBella Books
Page Count: 324 pages
Release Date: August 31, 2021
Series: None
Genre: Non-fiction, True crime

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// Book Description (via Goodreads) //
Now that articles, podcasts, newsmagazines, and miniseries have had their sensationalistic say, Debra Newell, the one woman who truly knows what it was like to survive “Dirty John” Meehan shares the full story—the reality—with the world for the first time.

Debra Newell is nothing if not a survivor. By the time she met John Michael Meehan online, she lived through a near-fatal childhood illness, an attempted rape in her 20s, the traumatic death of her sister at the hands of her brother-in-law, four failed marriages, and a litany of dating disasters. But despite those tragedies, she seemed to have it all: adoring children, a successful business, a fabulous penthouse apartment.

But there was something missing: the blinding, all-consuming love she first read about to occupy her time in her childhood sickbed. And she thought she found it with John Meehan.

More than a tabloid-ready true-crime expose, Debra’s story is one of trauma, denial, and deception. But it is also a relatable, inspirational, and hopeful story of forgiveness and, most of all, love. The lengths to which a woman will go to find—and keep—love; the boundaries children and parents cross to protect and save the people they love; the love one must find for oneself; and the ways the illusion of love can be used to manipulate and hurt.

Told in Debra’s words with the help of New York Times bestselling author M. William Phelps, this book is filled with exclusive stories about Debra and her family, previously unpublished photos, and the unvarnished, unapologetic, and unbelievable reality of Surviving Dirty John.

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// Review //
I can only begin this review with saying how stunned I am at the misinformation and dramatization of survivor's stories in the media. As Newell herself points out at multiple points in Surviving Dirty John, we as a society need to do better in supporting victims, rather than placing the blame of the victimizer's abusive behavior upon them. The epidemic of abuse (mainly upon women) in this country is unacceptable and is telling of how we react to those who cry out for help. Debra Newell writes:

"I was screaming out to law enforcement. Providing evidence. We all knew John was about to strike. Where and when was anybody's guess. He was planning to fulfill his need for revenge. The torching of my Jag was a direct warning. And he got away with it."

Also:

"Whenever a woman comes forward and talks about abuse and is judged, the tacit message she hears is: If you tell your story, your behavior and your past will be the lens through which your present circumstances are viewed - you will be judged harshly and humiliated."

I have to commend Debra Newell for how she has used her horrendous experience to fuel her determination to change this country for the benefit of abuse and assault survivors. We need to do better as a society.

I also give credit to Debra Newell for using her voice to spread information regarding coercive control. Previous to reading Surviving Dirty John, I felt I had a decent grapple on abuse and abusers. However, I had never even heard of coercive control. This ignorance to abuse had made me and many others vulnerable. Now, Debra's novel has shielded me.

Here is a quick definition of coercive control, thanks to Laura Richards, whose site I encourage you all to visit here:

"Coercive control is a strategic pattern of behavior designed to exploit, control, create dependency, and dominate. The victim's everyday existence is micromanaged and her space for action, as well as potential as a human being, is limited and controlled by the abuser.

If any of this rings true to you, please seek help from someone you trust.

I read Surviving Dirty John in one day; I could not put it down. I could not believe that someone could do something like this to another human being. The novel is a solid 5/5 Stars, and one of my favorite true crime books that I have read so far.

I'd like to finish this review with a badass quote from Debra Newell herself:

"My passion now is to expose and help brings about awareness of what I and others view as a worldwide epidemic affecting millions of people, many of whom do not even realize what is occurring in their lives until it's far too late. This is my fight. Getting people to understand coercive control and providing a safe way out for women trapped in abusive - even deadly - situations and relationships. Reaching these women is the silver lining within the horror my family and I endured and, thank God, lived through. Educating women about the warning signs of being controlled, as well as the dangers of online dating and what they should be looking out for, is my life's work."

I highly recommend reading this novel, even if you think you know the whole story. You don't, you really don't.

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