Bo was a lazy  dad who didnt really care for his kids he smoked most of the time and let the kids cry
Bo cheated on his wife while the kids were in the house they saw the women naked and had lots of questions 
Thi used to get weird calls from creepy men saying really inappropate things to her as a kid she  used to read her dads paraphernalia memorizing all the pictures
The kids childhoods weren't your average childhoods they watched the exorcis at 5 years old (definitely  not a movie for kids)

I hate that we go into the "to understand  how my father became the way he was I had to learn what happend  to him as a little boy" that's no excuse for what he did. Or how he wasn't a good dad

We learn alot about the past and how growing  up back then is 10x different  then it is now 
Bo was raised in the jungle at the time in 1940 during the world war 2
Bos dad cheated on his mom with the neighbor at the end of the street and when  she asked about it she was screamed at
Bo watched one night as his father beat his mother badly and threw her out of the house in 1945 at the height of the famine

Her mom hit the kids and the servants 
Back in these times kids were forced to work  if you didn't work then you were seen as lazy

Bos grandfather had cheated on his grandma, the fight escalted into her falling and cutting open her head on the door which Bo had to take her to the hostipal the next Day Bos grandma  left Bos grandfather his grandfather when they arrives in sài gón tried to  ask bos grandma "let's make a new home together " after what he did to her thankfully she said "no I don't need you" so fricken proud of her but sooner then later the diêms forces ended up fighting with others and it led to Bos grandmothers doorstep making her lose her securites and more scared of violence she agreed to go back to her cheating husband

"And there in 1962 I met your mother"
Thi's mom "besides the very first year, I met Bo and that was it he just monopolized me, it was like I was married from the very first year of college'

It was wholesome that Bo and thi's  mom after they lost their first kid remembered  the movie they went to and the place they both wanted to go, it became a place they went for a time to forget but also a brief honeymoon  period 

This book was so beautiful  we got to learn about Thi's  parents and her journey as a mom
When thi had her baby they ended up with jaundice so her and her partner were only allowed to see their kid for 20 minutes enough time to feed him then go back sleep  for 90 minutes and do it again
The nurse when thi's  baby was allowed to go home helped Thi  breastfeed her baby as it didn't work the first try and it successfully worked

"To accidentally  call myself mẹ was to slip myself  into her shoes just for a moment"
"To let her be not what I want her to be but someone independent, self- determining, and free,means  letting  go of that picture of her in my head."

"What becomes of us after we die? Do we live on in what we leave our children?"

This book is a must read and I mean it this was a book that broke my heart then healed it again this was so beautiful  thank you to Thi Bui for writing this beautiful  book!