this is a semi autobiographical account from rhys; as her alter ego sasha, a woman returning to Paris to try and recapture some joy in her life. this book doesn't just capture sadness or loneliness, it's just pure despair. she lives day by day in hotels, different cafes, meeting with different men. there is hardly a moment where she isn't trying to escape through drink. she finds herself lost between the past and present — which presents us with a pretty unique narrative flow.

this is a heavy book, suicidal ideation and alcoholism are present throughout. i don't think i was mentally or emotionally invested enough to fully analyze this book, but there is a lot of depth and perspective here. it's really impressive for a book so small (under 200 pages). i didn't really enjoy or dislike this book, but i can appreciate and respect the work, vulnerability, and melancholy rhys must've faced while writing this.