I have a tendency to listen to audiobooks specifically to make self-help books more palatable to my ADHD mind, and I had started this audiobook a while back only to think to myself "wow this is interesting, I should buy a physical copy and annotate it." Unfortunately my interest waned pretty quickly. Don't get me wrong, this book is... interesting if you're just starting to get into Buddhism and mindfulness, but oh boy is it drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry. So dry. 

"But Allison, it's a self-help book." I know, I know. I did this to myself and will shoulder the blame. 

This book was supposed to be a testament to my determination, but being able to see the unfinished portion in a physical form has absolutely destroyed my resolution. Maybe I'll come back to it, but I can't stand seeing it staring at me from the "currently reading" any longer.  Anyway here's my journal entry on the first few chapters so you can decide if you want to read it. 

 

Chapter one explores the beginnings of meditation as an approach to trauma, or at very least Buddha's First Noble Truth, "Dukkha!" meaning, succinctly "suffering," or more accurately "hard to face." Summarily, the only way out is through because suffering is unavoidable.

I have been studying philosophy, particularly Buddhist practices and meditation and even leaning into Stoicism, for the past few months of my life. The first chapter of this book was somewhat shocking (Mark Epstein admits that for 10 years of his career as a psychiatrist he never considered "trauma" ????), but also profound in a way that reflected my own journey of self. 

This chapter, titled Primitive Agony, discusses Buddha's journey to self-enlightenment and further discusses Dukkha and the tendency for people to relate Buddhism to pessimism and eventually discusses developmental trauma as lack of relationship between mother-child relationships, and that unresolved emotion can lead to self-hate. The absence of tolerance taught by a parent figure leads to acute self-negating feelings.  It describes the act of "mindfulness" as not clinging to what is or isn't pleasant, and to simply accept things as they are. 

I personally greatly enjoy the practice of meditation and will always find Buddhism and mindfulness both to be interesting topics.