dreamy and meandering. very gothic slow build of dread and tension. tense without being urgent. reading it felt almost nostalgic somehow?

*just an opinion, a very LONG opinion


"all of that for nothing?"
—glo


honestly, i don't feel much about catherine house. the book was beautifully written. and as a story it felt incredibly self-aware.

the chapters are long, the lead ines doesn't really do anything, and the days go by so quickly. characters fade in and out, some details transpared [not a word], others unknown. i liked this element, though, as i really identify with it and it really speaks to my dissociation.

maybe sticking with such an apathetic lead may have harmed the story more than it helped it, but characters surrounding ines to me were not quite interesting either. those who hated Catherine House are lost in the banality of ines and those who love it are sort of entranced by her or the world of Catherine. i just can't find myself to feel either way about it. the more i think about it, the more i wanted because elisabeth's writing demonstrates that's entirely possible.

and i don't know what happened.

there seemed like there was supposed to be a commentary on *something*, at points maybe pretty privilege, another the cultish nature of higher education, but whatever it was it got lost in ines who just wasn't interesting enough or interested herself in any of that for these points to be solidified. which is why that story fell flat and hers too. in the beginning it was a nice premise to me, because ines reminds me of myself.

i'm a very [self-aware] apathetic person, which i wonder if that affects why Catherine House didn't grip me and was personally hard to slug through. maybe we simply don't mesh. but idk, to me that also seems a bit of a cause for indictment the more i consider it. because my biggest issue was *i* as a reader don't get what's gripping about Catherine House itself. i don't see why it's attractive to students and thus i don't see the intended appeal for readers.

there wasn't much freedom in Catherine House actually, and they had to work hard, stressfully hard always. the characters were boring. the sex even felt boring. and the plasm felt unremarkable, what did it really do? i don't feel that I needed to fully understand it, i just wanted to know how it really made Catherine House worth anything. to see some real effect, to know at least why people were willing to die for it. but i don't know that, i don't know why Catherine House means anything.

which again, i thought could be the commentary on prestigious universities, but it's so weak. ambiguous. i don't know if it is commentary on that, and personally, i prefer if people are making commentary on something like that, that they say it with their chest. again, again, *if* that's what was being done. but, i don't really know. there were messages on aging and death that i appreciated. bits about chasing eternal youth and life. but i just didn't see any monopoly that Catherine had on any of it, anything monumental. i was just dragging through, in a similar way i do my regular college assignments. i don't get what separates Catherine House from the world ines and them lived in, because to me it looked the same and operated the same. ines, especially acted the same in both worlds.


there's a lot more i can say about Catherine House, but my biggest opinion is i didn't hate it. don't get me wrong. but i didn't like it either. to me it feels so promising, and an apathetic lead is such an interesting concept. however the execution to me wasn't there. the ambiguous ending itself couldn't even make me angry or inquiring or anything because the entire story post year one felt ineffectual. 

i'll admit i had expectations of horrors beyond human comprehension or something really awful and yet it seemed very tame? calling it a thriller, dark, or creepy all feels incorrect. the story felt anticipatory, but there was nothing to fear for me, only a chugging question of 'what's next' and consistent thoughts of 'that's it?!'

afterward, i truly felt empty, and i'm not entirely sure that was the point. and again, this might be *just* me. but i wanted to feel more about Catherine House and i just don't. 

when i imagine the book itself as an experiment, it's a lot more fun. to think about, not read, to be clear. then the story becomes  effectively representative of the house, incredibly honest.

maybe this book and me are like positive magnet poles and maybe that's what didn't work. 

maybe more people willing to give it the FAIR chance other reviewers didn't, like i did, will like or love it. or maybe even feel empty like me. i wouldn't recommend against reading it yourself, 'cause i think people should. i think there's something there.

but i also really think clarity in the book, whether in one word or a sentence would do a lot for this story. it just needed more.

this book really worked for me because despite its marketing, because it, to my understanding, functions really well as a deconstruction of academia as a whole. this is probably why you see so many low scores from dark academia fans, who expected more exploration of that portion, namely the plasma mystery, and cultish behavior. however, the book is not, and has never been about that. it was about our main character, ines, and her journey. it is best understood as a character study on escapism, loss, and self acceptance, as you weave through an environment actively detrimental to you. 

i think in another kind of book, it would have put the mystery first, exposing catherine, understanding the full scope of plasm, shutting down the schools, and then have the protagonist reckon with their own internal emptiness afterwards, remarking on how solving the mystery didn't solve them. catherine house, does not share this typical format, having its protagonist get out. no school or mystery, creepy plasm cult or not, can nor should be your whole life.

what is plasm? i have no idea. it was explained to me and i still don't understand, so i wasn't bothered when that wasn't explored because i didn't care anyways.

i loved the way the author got the atmosphere across so clearly with very detailed, but uncomplicated prose. ines existed in this "sideways" and detached existence, with the author writing in the hazy aura ines clearly felt, until the end, when she starts getting (almost jarringly) clear. 

i will say, i think this book wasted a lot of time, but also didn't use enough. i don't like dark academia aesthetic so i'm biased, but the multiple descriptions of food, parties, buildings, and landscapes did bore me. there are multiple scenes in the book that i think are genuinely unnecessary and other technically not needed. however, i would describe this book as drifting along a stream, not building up to something bigger, so the extra scenes didn't bother me too badly. that being said, you can only half pay attention to this book and still get the gist, which i did myself in some places when listening to the audiobook. (which is fantastic btw.)

and i tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but i knew theo's ass was trash.

Catherine House never seduces the reader enough to make some of the characters' attachments make sense, nor did the lead character's emotions come through strongly enough to make any twists land. A profound disappointment 

This book gave me serious Magicians meets Mexican Gothic vibes. Something is very clearly OFF about Catherine House from the start, but despite that, the characters are also doing typical college student antics (drinking too much, lots of casual sex, etc.).