I'm a sucker for the friends to lovers trope. I liked both of the main characters and their banter.

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ARC received for an honest review

Carmen Jenner is an insta-buy author for me. And Carmen Jenner dipping her toe in the m/m genre - yes please!

Finding North is so much more than just a m/m romance novel. I read a lot of m/m and I love it all. But often we get two out and proud men who find each other. Their animal magnetism drawing them to each other - and I have to say, it gets me hot under the collar.

What we don't often get is the bond that Will and North have. Best-friends-to-lovers-to-strangers-to-lovers, (phew, did you keep up?), there is always going to be an unbreakable bond between them. No matter what has happened, when love turns to hate, it is still there.

I loved that this was not a simple "gay for you" story. North is confused, afraid, angry. The internal struggle between the head and the heart, what he wants and what he thinks he should want.

I could completely understand Will's reluctance to let North back in. After a decade of the same, who would? My heart broke over and over for Will as they kept going around in circles.

Then again, I could understand North's fears too. But I wanted to shake some sense into him all the same.


We got glimpses of Will and North's pasts, but I would have loved to have gotten more of North's childhood, as it still plays such a huge part in the man he is today.

There is quite an oppressive feel around Will and North, Red Maine - the small town they live in. Like many small towns there is a festering hatred for what they don't class as "the norm". Bigotry abounds, and the pack mentality has set in.

As the title says, this really is about "Finding North". Not just North coming out. But Will and North finding their way back to each other. Finding a way to survive in such a vitriolic world. Finding a way to see things are not all black and white. Finding the love in each other.

Finding North a beautiful, touching, and at times heartbreaking read. But I read with a sense of hope in my heart the whole way through.

Now Ms Jenner, what will you bring us next?

Safety Stats
Will
Sexuality as conflict - no
Virgin - no

Spoiler

His first time was with North when they were in high school. North had already lost his virginity and had been with a lot of girls. Will was in love with him, which North knew and taunted him about. After he and North stopped being friends, Will moved on with other men.

What's Your Number - no

North
Sexuality as conflict - yes

Spoiler

Though he and Will had sex when they were in high school, something that North instigated, he always denied that he was bisexual. There is external conflict from homophobic people in the town and from North's father, who at one point physically harms North and Will when he finds out about them.

Playboy - yes

Spoiler

North had sex with most young women in the town that they lived in. One of his previous partners was a woman who works at Will's bar, which Will is fully aware of.

Sex scene with OW - yes

Spoiler

There is an explicit scene where North has sex with his girlfriend, after he and Will have spoken for the first time in years. Another time, after North taunted Will about their first time together, he tries to have sex with his girlfriend again, but they break up.

Cheating - yes

Spoiler

I consider it a mutual cheating situation, since in the same period that North was having sex with other women, Will was also continuing to have sex with other men. I love this, since Will has spent years being used to North's other partners. But when North finds out Will has been with many other men, he is completely shocked and completely vulnerable to his jealousy.

OW drama - yes

Spoiler

North's ex-girlfriend is hostile towards Will. At one point she shows up at Will's apartment, upset that North is with another man. Will believes North is still with her and has been cheating on her with him, so he kicks North out of his house.

Overall, Not Safe but I like anyway.

Similiar Books
Promises by Marie Sexton (M/M romance)
Collide by Riley Hart (M/M romance)
Him by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy (M/M romance)

Well, I actually don't know what to say about this book. I read a sample, liked it, downloaded it and then proceeded to read the whole book. I read the synopsis awhile ago, so I wasn't prepared to the amount of angst, internalized (and externalized) homophobia and violence in this book. So I decided to use the suggestion goodreads gives and give it two stars, since the book was only regular to me.

Side note: I loved the character development with North, although it was mixed with so many confusing feelings it kind of made me lose interest in the story sometimes.

I freaking loved this book!!! I cannot get enough of this genre, and this author produced an incredible read. I absolutely adored both North and Will, and cried a river at what they went through, especially Will. Will was crass, was not afraid to tell it how it was, and was a bit of a douche, but that was all a front to protect himself from further hurt. He was proud of who he was and rose above the ridicule he copped for being different than society dictates, and was not afraid to show exactly who he was. North was afraid. He had a abhorrent father, and had little chance to be who he really was. They went through some extremely difficult times, and I was not sure how this story would end, which had me absolutely glued to the pages. This is now one of my favourite M/M reads now, and I was so stoked to be reading about Aussie guys. Being Aussie myself, it is fantastic to have a book set in your country. Love, love, love this author, and cannot wait to read what comes next.

This is a story of small town life, hatred, bigotry and finally acceptance of self and others. Carmen Jenner did amazing job.

Will and North are childhood friends who go through most everything together but that all changes. Their story is one of pain and solitude and deep seated anger. But when North finally accepts himself their story changes to one of support and genuine affection. This book made me cry, full on ugly sobbing at the pain they both go through for their love. I couldn't recommend Finding North highly enough.

3.75 stars


This is a second chance love story, it is told in dual POVs and there are past and present chapters. (Past: 18 years old, present: 30 years old)


Will and North have known each other since they were kids, they were best friends for many years until one day something changed and they stopped talking to each other.

Will is an out and proud gay man living in a small Australian town full of homophobic bigoted assholes.

North is an unhappy man living with many secrets, regrets and desires, his only escape is alcohol.



"North will never change. Twelve years on and I’m still his dirty little secret. And the thing that tears me apart is the knowledge that this is all I’ll ever be”



The book starts with North drinking at Will's bar, he spends all his nights there after work. They don't actually talk unless it's to insult each other. There are unresolved issues and after so many years they live with too much hate.

The problem is, no matter how much Will hates North, he is and always will be the love of his life.

One night North decides he doesn't want to keep denying himself so he makes a move.



“But that’s the problem with dreams. Reality always slams you back down to earth, and you wonder why you ever hoped for anything more than what you have because it’s all a lie.”



This story is a journey, North's journey to accepting himself and fighting for his happiness.

What made North leave Will 12 years ago?

Why is North so afraid?

Why is North "straight" in the eyes of everyone?

Why Will hates North so much?

We learn all of this and more in the little past chapters.

This was a hard book to review for me. See, i don't like having an opinion on things I don't understand, i am not gay and even if i were the people close to me wouldn't even bat an eyelash if i decided to come out, so I don't really understand North's mindset.

I was very frustrated with North, he's such a coward and let's not ignore the fact that it took him 12 years to put on his grownup pants! But like i said, I don't really understand.

I wanted Will to move on and just leave this awful town and look for happiness but his happiness is Will.

In the end North proved himself and i loved every second of it.



“I know I’ll never love anyone again the way I love Will.”

Too much hetero sex at the beginning for my liking in a mm book. I love me a straight romance as much as gay, but not like this and not unless it's mmf. Some of the words she used during the sex scenes were a bit eh, also.

That being said, the writing was good. The storyline was decent, but a bit too angsty in the wrong way for me. Also, not a fan of flashbacks... which this story was littered with.

Uff... Hard one to write.

I really didn't like this book in the beginning.
Wasn't really satisfied with the characters, had a really hard time connecting with them,...
But the end was really nice and the characters grew on me and still...
Something was definitely missing.

Characters?
For me they were really disappointing. North and Will are around 30, they drink a lot, they smoke weed… Guess I should be glad that both of them have a job…
North is bi but can only think in his boxes, doesn’t want anyone to know that he likes making love to his best friend Will.
North is a coward. He is also a huge a**. The things he has pulled with his “girlfriends”, the things he has done to Will? Wow, just mean and evil…
But I’m soo glad that there is a second part to this novel and I really grew to like this guy.

Will is openly gay in a town that is so anti-gay it’s nearly unbelievable but of course, very realistic. I liked Will, liked that he was so mad at North for hurting him, for pushing him away, for calling him ugly names.
I’m also disappointed that he can’t hold that up for a long time. I just don’t get why he would put himself out there
Plus, I was really, really, really annoyed that he’s such a sorry human being. Seriously, this guy has been pining for his best friend for twelve frigging years. He lives in a town that hates gay men, his former best friend and the guy he is still in love with ignores him and yet he stays?? Doesn’t go out there and date? I just… don’t understand, seriously.

Anyways, that was it with my negative points.
Cause I loved the second part of the book, i.e. the 50%-100% section. Lovely ending. Great character development. Plus, I loved the whole glimpses into their past. Really helped me in order to understand the characters’ actions afterwards.

And yet, the plot was interesting. I also liked the writing style and I kinda liked reading it even though I had my problems with the novel…