I almost put this down after the first paragraph. Something very….squishy about the way the author describes the mysterious power of her face to draw stories from people. Unsettling. And then continues to throw that face on the page throughout the book. When I was able to forget her face there was some interesting stuff here with the potential for a great book. Unfortunately, this isn’t it. The interweaving of a University sexual assault scandal investigation with unraveling a personal childhood of sexual abuse is a rich narrative opportunity that is presented here with mixed results. There were portions where it hummed—the investigation was compelling and the unpacking of the author’s  dysfunctional family dynamics came into focus.  Too often the paralysis of the main character—because of frustration with the investigation and the unwillingness of her family to acknowledge her paint--traps the narrative in amber. She can’t move—we can’t move. The analysis of her feelings seems to be happening in real time instead of from a thoughtful distance—real time meaning the jumbled, confused state we live in when first going through something.  It’s important that these topics be explored so I was really rooting for this book. NPR spoke well of it. But despite the opportunities for growth along the way, it all seems to happen smack dab at the end as if she were told—we’ve reached our page limit—time to wrap it up.  And that led to a car crash of thoughts  at the end—two different drafts of the same page seemed to follow each other—and an I LANDED ON MY FEET ending that seemed out of nowhere. Wasted opportunity. 

Described as part literary true crime and part memoir, this book is about Erika Krouse's early career as a private investigator who played a large role in cracking open a landmark sexual assault case. This details not only her interviews with survivors and details about the case itself, but personal stories about her life leading up to the investigation, during, and after. At first, I was worried that I was going to be bored with the memoir side of things. I thought that the true crime stuff was all I was going to care about, but what ended up happening instead was that I cared about both elements. Krouse's own story of survival intertwines with the story of this case in a way that never feels forced or shoe-horned in. The stories of her fraught relationship with her mother were heartbreaking, and her journey with mental illness was relatable. Another nice touch to this book was that there was information sprinkled throughout about all sorts of things that I didn't know much about. I learned about the first ever female private eye in the US, the inception of the Pinkertons, and much, much more. The only reason I docked this down half a star is because I feel....very weird giving a book based around sexual assault 5 stars, but that's a me problem. If you like true crime, memoirs, and non fiction, you should give this one a try: but please heed the trigger warnings online first.