GOD (I screenshot quotes from the text after I got blasted hearing them in the audiobook. I have folder of these. Please help.)

This book moved me like no other queer book did. It captures so many emotions, all at once. Giovanni’s room represents so much - and the main character’s will to run away from it speaks volumes. David is deplorable, but there is something so real about his inner monologue.

I’m glad I read this.

This is my first James Baldwin book and I have always heard that he was an excellent writer who truly understood the human condition, but oof did this classic literature toxic yaoi hit even harder than expected. In all seriousness though, there is so much pain and turmoil and suffering in this book, interspersed with a few moments of tenderness and genuine human connection that will make your heart lift, only to be followed again by trauma, drama, and heartbreak that will drop it back into your stomach. The writing is beautiful and poetic in a straightforward way, and it touches on the themes of isolation, identity, homophobia, and masculinity in a very purposeful manner. The ending in particular is haunting and this book is definitely a testament to the plight of queer people throughout history  that will stick around in my mind for a while.

Far sadder than I was expecting.  If this book is any indication, the level of self-loathing experienced by queer men at this time must have been unimaginable. 
Reading this was like bobbing out on the open ocean, life vest on, but seeing nothing but wave after wave of misery and devastation coming your way

Beautifully written, but I hate the main character with a burning passion. I need him to get over himself yesterday. All he does is hurt people. I don’t like books where the main character is so deeply unaware of how their actions affect others. Some people will find that as the highlight of this book, but I find it frustrating to read. I’ll definitely check out Baldwin’s other work because the writing style was the only part of this that I liked, but this was a miss for me.

Automatic negative points for being pro-Paris / pro-France and using the French language. AUTOMATIC !!!!!! I can't help my dislike, nay I say hatred of those baguettes!

Negative points also for the main characters, all characters being white. I understand that the story couldn't be told without them being white. It's just hard for me to relate to white stories. I don't understand them. Usually when I read them I think "Okay but you don't have real problems. Why are you complaining?" Which is only halfway a joke. 55% a jape.

I did relate to the main character however. For future me reading this, you just broke up with your first girlfriend. You only related in some, a few ways, not completely, but it was noticeable.

Despite my criticisms the writing was lovely. It feels like thee queer/gay book that mothered or grandmothered queer books. I loved the brief analysis into gender and heteronorms. It came out of nowhere but it really stood out. Every thing you feel for the first time has already been felt by the rest of humanity a billion times over. I also love when classics can still be relatable.

Giovanni's Room follows the story of David, an American man who, after being left by his girlfriend in France, starts a relationship with another man, named Giovanni.

This book touches on many topics. The three main issues it covers is internalized homophobia/biphobia, what it means to be a 'real man',  and confinement. 

The book takes place in the 1950s, when attitudes of gay people were shifting—more for the worse than better. These strong homophobic attitudes further lead David into self-hatred.  

David's earliest experience of same-sex attraction happened with a friend of his named Joey. They

slept together

one night, and afterwards, David became extremely cold to him and began to

bully him

.  On top of this, David, who is raised by his single father, constantly expresses his want for David to be a real man. What being a 'real man' means is something that David struggles greatly with throughout the book. 

In my perspective, David felt that his attraction to Joey was just a one-time thing, but, after meeting Giovanni and almost instantly being attracted to him, he feels ashamed of himself. 

His same-sex attraction makes him feel emasculated, which he displays by mocking other gay/bi individuals that he encounters. He refers to the gay and bi men by the word 'fairy', which is another way of saying 'sissy' or the f-slur. He feels as though he is different from them, despite also being same-sex attracted. This attempt to separate himself from the other men shows how insecure he is about being who he is. 

He also pushes himself away from Giovanni because of his shame. While Hella, David's girlfriend, is off finding herself in another country, David and Giovanni spend a lot of time together. But the moment Hella returns,

David leaves Giovanni in the middle of the night and has him worried about him for over three days.

David runs from himself both literally and figuratively.

On top of all of this, growing up, David's father constantly expressed his want for David to be a 
'real man'. David's father never elaborates on what he meant by that, but through his letters to David, it can be assumed that he wanted David to find a woman, get married, and have children. David tries his best to achieve this expectation by trying to make things work with Hella. 

One last topic that is covered in Giovanni's Room is confinement. Giovanni has big windows with no curtains, so anyone is able to see inside. Because of this, he keeps the lights off in the room and him and David stay low to the ground. This is not just for the need of regular, personal privacy, but also to conceal the homosexual acts that take place in the room. They both know that if anyone were to find them, they would no longer be safe. 

All in all, I enjoyed this book. It showed a deeper side to homosexuality and how those who happen to experience same-sex attraction struggle with acceptance, but inward and outward.